I have an insanely early flight in the morning, so I'm going to make this quick and dirty. I totally forgot about the San Diego auditions Sunday, but apparently it was a mess. If there was anyone worth mentioning, have it out in the comments.

Here are the five most memorable auditions of a fairly forgettable night:

Jenni Schick from Sterling, Virginia, is a grade-school music teacher who needs to permanently take a seat. I cannot believe this Olympic-level spaz is molding our nation's youth. Also: nice hooker boots. She picked "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar, and she was actually pretty good. I don't think she's anything more than a very good karaoke singer, and I would want to stab her if she was on my TV every week. But she was honestly better than I was expecting her to be. She got three yesses for Hollywood.

Curtis Gray, 28, from Spring Hill, Florida, sang "So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday." Curtis has a scruffy blue-collar/grunge thing going on, and I would totally hit it. He sang soft r'n'b that I did not expect coming from that imposing, manly figure. Three yesses. And then he more or less mooned the camera while doing a somersault. That just made me like him more.

Haley Smith, 18, lives in a log cabin in Utah. She is a neo-hippy who sang "Tell Me Something Good" by Rufus and Chaka Khan. Her voice was interesting and had a lot of character, and she clearly knows how to express herself through song. Randy liked that she put her own spin on a r'n'b classic, and Steven felt honored that someone paid homage to his era. Haley has a tendency to get a bit shrill, but she's likable and different from pretty much anything in the music scene right now.

Shelby Tweten, 17, from Minnesota suffers from bipolar disorder, and has struggled with depression since fourth grade. That's rough. She says that "American Idol" has given her a reason to stay on her meds. Child. I'm glad that you're doing well with your condition, but please take a step back and know - and believe - that there are better reasons for you to stay on your medication than a stupid televised singing competition. She sang a song I didn't recognize - "Temporary Home," I guess? -- and Shelby has a really sweet voice with a bit of a husk to it. I liked it, but I am concerned that she's not going to be able to belt, which is kind of a necessity on this show. The judges loved her and put her through.

Jairon Jackson, 19, from Denver, Colorado, is a fashion nightmare, and had all the hallmarks of a joke audition before he started singing his original composition. I actually thought he was great. He has that quavery soft r'n'b voice that is very hot right now, and I thought the song was pretty solid too. The judges responded to it strongly and put him through. He's a total goober and is desperately in need of a makeover, but Jairon has some legitimate talent.

Angie Zeiderman, 25, a waitress from Florida, loves Lady Gaga and wants to be a performance artist like her. Angie's initial audition was a showtune that I recognized but can't place, and she was kind of a mess, flopping all over the set. Randy was not digging it and got into a little tiff with Jennifer. This prompted Angie to go into "Blue Bayou" by Linda Ronstadt, which was controlled and totally lovely. That turned Randy around, and the other two were already on board, so she's through. Angie is an oddball and I am so interested to see where she goes.

I'm not going to discuss Magic Cyclops, because that's precisely what he wants me to do. Total waste of time, and this show should be embarrassed that it went along with his joke for as long as it did.

All told 31 people got golden tickets, including some hot bear cowboy we barely got to see, one extremely gay boy in a vest, a knockoff Scotty McCreery, and an obvious douchebag.